The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great too).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to incredibly hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very directory close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, love, well-being, and closeness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in metropolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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