The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), top article and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically here rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urban locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

However, North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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